It seems everyone in your close circle has a role to play in your wedding day and so it should be. Everyone wants to share in your happiness on your big day, so it’s right they share a bit of responsibility too. There’s too much to do during an average wedding, so it’s right that you enlist all the help you can get!
So let’s take a look at the potential roles and responsibilities of the mother of the bride and mother of the groom.
Mother of the bride
Most mothers begin dreaming of their little girl’s wedding day from the moment she is born. She will imagine every aspect of the day, from the venue, the dress, the ideal husband and all those little details that make a great wedding.
That’s why the mother of the bride is so useful when planning your big day. And why she may need controlling during that planning!
The mother of the bride helps with wedding planning and supports her daughter throughout. The parents usually pay for the majority of the wedding, so it’s in the mother’s interest to make sure that money is well spent.
The wedding day
Once the planning is over, so are the mother of the bride’s main duties. On the wedding day itself, there are no official duties as such. Just a duty of care for her daughter to make sure she is feeling fine and everything is going to plan.
During the ceremony, the mother of the bride is usually a spectator if the father gives the bride away. If the father is not present, the mother of the bride may choose to give the bride away. If that’s the case, she may also decide to take on the role of the father as well as her own.
Otherwise, she can sit and watch proceedings until the register signing, where she can escort the happy couple. Once at the reception, she can sit back, relax and enjoy herself and the fruits of her labour!
The mother of the groom
The groom’s parents tend to have an easier time of a wedding than the bride’s. Many of the roles taken on by the mother of the groom will be voluntary and worked out between the two sets of parents.
Traditionally, much of the planning will be undertaken by the bride’s side of the family. Nowadays, both sides of the aisle have a part to play. They also tend to share the cost of a wedding more evenly. That gives both sets of parents more of a say in how the wedding goes.
Typically, the mother of the groom can help plan the wedding alongside the mother of the bride. She will also provide their side of the guest list, coordinate dresses and outfits to complement the wedding party and help choose venues, flowers and anything else.
She would also ensure her family’s RSVPs are returned on time and coordinate her side of the family for the wedding day itself. She may also take responsibility for any wedding rehearsals, as this is traditionally the groom’s family’s responsibility.
Like the mother of the bride, if there is no father of the groom and no other close male siblings, the mother can choose, or be chosen to take on that role too.
The main job of both the mother of the bride and of the groom is to support their children, work together in harmony and coordinate everything, so the wedding goes according to plan. In an ideal world, that’s exactly how it goes.
Mothers would meet early on and get to know one another, help make dress, venue, flower and theme choices. They could also coordinate guests lists, chase RSVPs, arrange accommodation for guests who have to travel and anything else the bride asks of them.
Mothers are also useful for helping solve problems, sewing up dresses, consoling emotional family members and keeping everyone in line. Much depends on how much they want to, or are allowed to, be involved on the day.
The only official role for either mother on the wedding day itself is to manage their own families and play a part in the receiving line if there is one. Depending on how formal the wedding is, introductions to family members the other has yet to meet can also be performed before or after the ceremony.