Saying your wedding vows, with the help and encouragement of your registrar, can feel a bit impersonal for some. There you are, looking into your loved one’s eyes but you are also trying to focus on the words you must repeat and being aware not to get them wrong in front of a crowd!
There are certain vows that must be said to make your marriage legally binding, but aside from these legal references you can personalise your vows to make them more heartfelt and romantic if you so wish.
Remember that the traditional vows you will be offered will depend on the type of service that is being held – Church of England Ceremony, Catholic Ceremony, Civil Ceremony or Non-Denominational Ceremony – so be sure to research these in advance.
Now, if you want to make the ceremony more meaningful, take a look at our tips on how to write your own vows, including what not to do.
Adding personal stories
If you are keen to express yourself using memories from the past, like where you first met, how you felt the first time you kissed, or even if you want to share memories from your life together so far, that is excellent but it also requires some thought.
Draft your stories and then decide what information is worth keeping in and what could be left out. Most importantly, you need to remember who your audience is and, despite there being a whole gathering of people watching you, your vows should be all about your love for the person standing before you and not aimed at getting a few laughs or tears from the congregation.
You may find that the only way you can tell your future husband or wife how much you care for them is by giving them a glimpse into your future together, with promises of how you will continue to make him/her happy. Even if you don’t touch on your feelings, a simple oath can still say a thousand words…
“I promise to never watch the next episode of our favourite series on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to.”
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t leave your vows until the night before your wedding, no matter how long you’ve been putting it off. Some people can get away with winging it, but wouldn’t you rather be prepared than risk getting slated by your partner for the rest of your life!?
If you really are struggling with putting your feelings down coherently, then you could hire a professional to help you. Experienced writers can take your feelings, memories and promises for the future and create an impressive speech that will truly wow your spouse – you could even have your vows turned into an original song or poem!